Gareeb

LISTEN TO ME |
 
My journey has several life-changing events. Each one of them with its own impact. As my knowledge base strengthens traveling the curved roads each day, my desire to share my wisdom and knowledge at times becomes overwhelming. Each time, I feel a rush to share with the hope what I bring to the forum will be useful. The thought is gratifying and always formed the basis of my thought sharing - until an event happened to me.
 
My friend Justin [I need to protect his identity] met me almost 20 years ago at a business conference. We had chemistry and in the coming months, we became friends. On my visit to the LA area, I made a point to meet up with Justin and eventually met his lovely wife, Laura. Justin called Wharton Business School his Alma Mater and held Chief Financial Officer's position in a Fortune 50 company. Highly successful professionally, in life, and with family. His lifestyle choices were above board and he was living an American dream. He was a gourmet cook and enjoyed the ultimate taste of Single Malt Whisky.
 
We met up several times on both coasts for dinners, long conversations, and my learning from him about Single Malt Whisky. His ability to enjoy gourmet dining and excellent drinks in quantities - I attributed to Pennsylvania Mainline's upbringing, education, and professional success. I also took a note about his capacity to consume a large amount of alcohol and still remain in full control.
 
On one of my visits to the West Coast, he asked to have dinner with him and Laura at their home in Santa Monica. I accepted and arrived for dinner about 30 minutes late due to traffic. I apologized and Justin was gracious. Ahead of dinner, we set down for a conversation and I noticed Justin had gone through more than a third of Pulteney Single Malt Whisky while holding a drink in his hand. The first time I felt his consumption was excessive. After dinner, we both set down for conversation and Justin refreshed his drinks two more times.
 
For me, it was the time, and risking my friendship I raised the subject of higher than usual consumption of alcohol by him. Justin looked at me and slowly stood up from the big chair. He walked towards the library doors and gently closed them. He set down in his chair and put his drink down.
 
He said "Listen to me", he paused and continued, "You think I am an intelligent, educated, successful person with a good life?" He did not wait for me to respond and continued "Don't you think I know drinking alcohol in excess and at this level, I am consuming is bad for me?" He picked up his drink took a sip and continued "I have been to 4 inpatient rehabs including chemical treatments. I still continue to fall off the wagon. Oh God, I wish I can turn off my addiction and Lord knows I have tried." He paused in deep reflection with his eyes closed. "This addiction, I know will be the end of me and everything I have accomplished. My friend, I am unable to get out of this quicksand no matter how hard I try. I am not a skid raw junkie but I suffer from addiction just the same." I found myself frozen where I set, I had no words of wisdom to share with him.
 
Justin repeated "Listen to me - I have a great family and I have few good friends like you. Until my last day, I cherish what I have. I am who I am because destiny for me is written." I remained emotionally frozen and after few hours it was time for me to depart. I hugged him and said thank you to Laura before leaving. The conversation remained with me as I reflected on traveling back to East Coast. I had no words I can share with my friend, no advice to give him - just nothing.
 
11 months later Justin passed away from lever psoriasis. He was in his prime and his productive life cut short by 25 years. Knowing him and the words "Listen to me" made me realize the life-changing event he invoked. I no longer rush to share my wisdom or advice as I may not know other person's real circumstances. Listen to me - changed me now with an appreciation of the people other than me.
 
Listen to me | An Ode to Justin